Ignore all of the ‘accepted’ views on how life started – that’s just your government playing with your mind. Life really started because one alien overlords son wanted a pet, but the alien overlord didn’t think he was ready for a dog – or whatever the venusian equivalent of a dog is – so he got him sea monkeys. That’s us – we’re a bunch of land based sea monkeys – um, land monkeys. The kid got bored with us.
The ‘dinosaur’ bones that keep getting dug up? He tried to feed us chicken. Someday now he’s going to want fish and they’re going to reuse the bowl, then we get flushed down the universal equivalent of the toilet.
I hope they don’t use toilet duck.